In Defence of Greenwood Town… the Greenwood Militia!

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Many many years ago, like ten or eleven, I backed a Kickstarter featuring halflings. I can’t remember which one it was now, but I found myself in possession of a few units of cool, oldhammer-esque halflings. Then I backed another one, with more cool halflings. Now I was committed. Gradually over the years my box of halflings increased. I would see something and think, that’d look good in my halfling army. When I moved to Cymru and unpacked all my minis I put them all on a prominent shelf so that I would start work on the army. That shelf got added too. I added treemen, and some spites from the current Sylvaneth range. I bought some animals to go with the army, perhaps for halfling beastmasters. I bought war machines, a hot pot, a steam tank. I even backed the Half Tilt Kickstarter on the grounds that it provided a game to play with all the halfling minis I have. But I never actually painted any….

UNTIL NOW!

Greenwood is a small town in the west of The Moot. Being in the west, it doesn’t need to worry about undead incursions or gobbo raids or orc hordes out of the mountains. Being part of the area that was formerly human-occupied, its mostly smallholdings with its local woods just remnants of the ur-forests that cover most of the Empire. The human farmers didn’t respect the trees and were in a state of casual war with the treefolk, but the halflings love the woods and have formed an accord with the treepeople. They are not a warlike people, but rumours of war have reached Greenwood, and so a militia has been mustered.

General of Greenwood’s militia is Idada Featherbraid, a former adventurer who retired to Greenwood to take over the running of her elderly father’s pub. She spends most of her time writing her memoirs and leaves the day-to-day running of it to Pappy Featherbraid, just stepping in to move barrels or eject troublesome drunks. For the last year she has been training her younger brother Ardal in the arts of fighting, kitted him out with decent armour and weapons, and now he acts as her equerry. But is he a case of all the gear and no idea?

Isafice Rumblemoon is the local priestess of Esmerelda, who likes to affect witchiness and wisdom. Tall and skinny for a halfling, her magic is mostly concerned with healing and feasting, but she likes the idea of battle magic!

Mayor Nedon Ambermantle and some of the town’s self-appointed elites have had some basic military training and have co-opted Greenwood’s giant chickens to form a cavalry squad. (Every chicken painted according to a genuine domestic chicken off the internet.) Let evildoers beware the feared charge of the fat brigade!

Finally the townsfolk have been roused, challenged to arrange themselves arms and armour, and are attempting to learn some basic manoeuvres. Idada is positive about the work of her militia, but her friends are concerned at the amount of spiced honey wine she seems to be drinking these days.

I enjoyed starting this project finally and hopefully one day I will have a fine and large halfling army. It would be nice if halflings were to re-emerge in AoS somehow, I would hate to think that Idada, Isafice, Nedon and all the rest just got eaten by chaos. I don’t know where many of these minis came from. The militia and Isafice are all Midlam Miniatures. Ardal is a vintage GW LOTR Pippin from their 80s range, not the modern ones. Idada might be from Bad Squiddo. The drummer and standard bearer are late 80s, early 90s GW. The chicken riders were a Kickstarter I backed, but whose I cannot say. My apologies to their creator for my memory lapse.

From out of the muddy ooze … Jamie Loft’s Swamp Dragon

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Some time ago I backed a Kickstarter by a lovely fellow called Jamie Loft, an oldhammer aficionado who has sculpted all sorts of wonderful Rogue Trader compatible miniatures. This one was for dragons, and thanks to a rush of blood to the head, I bought the whole damn lot. Dragons are cool, I guess. This is the first of the gang, a old school swamp dragon. I am very pleased with this one, it looks like a creature that lives in the primeval murk of the bayou, appearing out of the mist and moving with surprising swiftness to corner its prey… you! Browns and greens were the order of the day here, Perhaps it needed more of a themic base, but I didn’t want to cover up those big claws. I hope you like it!

Thanks for all the recent comments and positivity! Keep on keepin’ on!

C34 Earth Elemental, a bucket list mini painted!

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Things have been crazy here the last couple of months. Not least with the fact that I have been diagnosed with bowel cancer and have already started treatment. I now have a stoma bag and am becoming far more intimate with shit and pain than i would have chosen. But you get what you’re given in life, there’s no unkind fate and no natural justice, just random mutations in your genes that sometimes result in nasty tumours.

However there are some good things in the world. One of them is right here. One of the first miniatures I ever bought was the Earth Elemental. Something about this great slab of lead really grabbed me. I wanted more miniatures for playing HeroQuest, and maybe the dungeon nature of the game made an earth elemental seem obvious (its underground innit). However it came to me, it came to me before I had discovered Citadel paints, and it was painted in brown enamels. This EE was sold with all my other miniatures back in the early 00s when my mum moved house and wanted her attic cleared. I wonder what happened to it, I hope it has been repainted and its new owner is proud of it. This one was bought on ebay more than a decade ago and has finally been painted. I am pleased with the job. Quick and simple, but very effective. Turns out I need the others too!

C34 Earth Elemental, painted in grey rock colours.

Outreach Team! The Word Bearers warband of Ashrak the Testifier.

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Another box that has been sitting around for a while was a Chaos Space Marine Combat Patrol that I got for a birthday gift. The miniatures are lovely, though I have to say that the lack of options means they’re not as much fun or as satisfying as earlier heretics. I like to build! I have never painted Word Bearers before, and these guys seem far more like Word Bearers than any other type of nasty heretic, so Word Bearers it was. I am quite pleased with them, and it was nice to do a few squads together to give far more of a unified army look than I normally achieve.

Der Gorkas and der Morkas: adventures on Gorkamorka!

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A few years ago, just before the 2nd ed. Oldhammer boom, I bought the o.g. Gorkamorka boxset for a very reasonable price. Included were lots of ork boyz and some random metal orks and I was very pleased. Then I put it aside! Now the wheel of time has turned, and the compass needle points due-ork and I am pleased to present a collection with enough Orks to form a decent sized mob of Gorkas and Morkas with spannezs, slaverz, and Nobz and a trukk each.

These have been done quick and dirty for the most part, these are gamepieces rather than ornaments, but I still wanted to do a decent job. I hope I have succeeded.

Now all I need is someone to play!

Steel Guard 10th Company Reaver Squad Giono

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When the whole Primaris thing was new and fresh and Reaver Squads were introduced in a box set called something like Shadowspear, Big Jim Workshop in his infinite wisdom introduced a small box set of Reavers, 3 for a tenner. And I bought some. Then, as things go, I put them away for a decade because time is a lie and I am middle-aged and there are lots of miniatures that needed painting before I got to them. Anyway, I was having a rearrange and found these at exactly the same time that I was looking for something simple to paint. But did you know that there is no way of legally fielding 3 Reavers? I only learned that once I had painted them and was looking to see how many points they were worth (I have a spreadsheet, the Steel Guard are currently worth 11,235 points and I am less than a quarter through). How fortunate for me that I have foiled GW’s cunning scheme by never playing any games (though if you’re in Caerdydd and fancy a game of 40k 2nd edition do drop me a line, I’ve been grooving on 2nd ed a lot recently and really fancy it). So yeah, this is Sergeant Giono, and Reavers Poreby and Mann, who got a couple of layers of contrast paint and blackened metal weapons to give them a ghostly kind of greyness rather than the military grey of the SG. But being Space Marines they were unable to get rid of the red trim and golden skulls of their chapter. Some things are more important than camouflage.

Genestealer Cults armoured drill vehicle

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I impulse bought a resin multipart drill vehicle on ebay a few years ago and was intending it to be Orked. However it was a bit too small for Orks in the end, so i decided that it was ideal for a scruffy bunch of industrial saboteurs who can enter the battlefield from the sewers. This was mostly about practice making the metal bits look old and worn, and I was reasonably pleased with the result. The Imperium of Many will emerge from underground to strike at its enemies!

Age of Darkness: Horus Heresy Ultramarines

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Given that the new edition of Age of Darkness has been released and I do fancy painting some Saturnine Terminators, I felt that I ought to complete the previous box first. Of course, it looks like a new edition of 40k with Orks as the protagonists is coming out, so that might have to be bought. I never did complete the Blackstone Fortress set either… oh my. So yes, these little bunch represents the other half of the set that I painted recently, the Sons of Horus. I decided to paint them as Ultramarines because in the initial Horus Heresy Calth boardgame I painted the minis as Death Guard and Imperial Fists instead of Word Bearers and Ultramarines. I just did what I wanted, what an anarchist! But since then I have come to appreciate the painting cue aspect of boxes. Having never painted smurfs before, apart from some Space Crusade marines when I first started painting again, I fancied a go as these guys. I am reasonably pleased with what has come out. I don’t think the edge highlighting is very good, but as a quick and dirty paintjob for the enjoyment of doing blue power armour for a change, yeah, its ok. Now where am I going to get the money for Saturnine….

Oh, and the other week I took the opportunity to visit Warhammer World and look at the exhibitions. Were some very cool dioramas there, including some lovely early ones. Needed more early minis tbh, and it would have been amazing to have one of every miniature ever made, but its definitely worth £8.50! I didn’t find the hidden assassin though.

Half Tilt! gameboard for halfling jousting adventures!

I impulse-backed this game on Ks a while ago because I have a secret collection of halflings. Whats more these halflings number into 3 digits now. And not a single one has been painted or even assembled. How does this happen? What is wrong with me? Anyway, halflings. Half Tilt is a jousting game featuring halflings on goats / pigs / seals etc. I backed it. This is the gameboard. I half-arsed it. One day I will have a giant halfling army and the bakeries of the world will quake!